Why Rest Feels Uncomfortable—and How to Unlearn Hustle in the Name of Health

by Dr. LaSonya Lopez

May 1, 2025

There’s a reason why sitting still feels like failure. In a culture built on output, optimization, and over-identification with productivity, rest isn’t just rare—it’s rebellious. For many high-achieving women, rest doesn’t feel like restoration. It feels like guilt. Like a nagging question: What aren’t you doing right now that you should be?

We know rest is essential. But when the nervous system has been trained to equate motion with safety and worth, stillness feels foreign—sometimes even unsafe. This is more than a mindset. It’s biology. And it’s learned.

This blog explores why true rest can feel deeply uncomfortable—and how to rewire your nervous system, habits, and identity to reclaim rest as a form of power, not passivity.

Rest as Resistance: Understanding the Inner Conflict

If you've ever felt more anxious after clearing your calendar, you're not alone. The discomfort of rest isn’t laziness—it’s a withdrawal from adrenaline and cortisol, hormones we unconsciously use to sustain high-performance lives.

We’ve normalized stress as a baseline. Which means when it’s gone, our nervous system looks for it. We crave urgency because it’s familiar. Rest becomes a threat to the version of ourselves we’ve been rewarded for: productive, responsible, always-on.

The Physiology Behind the Hustle Habit

This is more than psychological conditioning. It’s neurobiological entrainment. High cortisol levels over time train the brain to thrive on stimulation and reward loops. The sympathetic nervous system becomes dominant, and our bodies struggle to downshift into parasympathetic mode—the rest-and-repair state.

Symptoms of dysregulated rest may include:

• Guilt or irritation during downtime

• Racing thoughts when trying to relax

• Hyperfocus on tasks even when exhausted

• Physical restlessness or tension

This isn’t a character flaw. It’s a nervous system in survival mode.

Reclaiming Rest: A Somatic Approach

We can’t think our way into rest. We have to feel our way into it.

True rest begins in the body. It’s somatic—not just scheduled. You need to show your nervous system that safety exists without speed. That you can be okay even when you’re not producing.

1. Start with Micro-Doses

If rest feels unsafe, start with minutes, not hours. Try:

• 5-minute eyes-closed breathing breaks

• Sipping tea with no phone or stimulation

• Gentle stretches with your eyes open

These micro-moments teach the body to associate slowness with comfort, not risk.

2. Pair Rest with Ritual

Use practices like herbal tea, aromatherapy, music, or soft lighting to cue rest. These sensory rituals anchor the nervous system and give your brain “proof” that rest is purposeful.

Try a blend like passionflower + oatstraw + lemon balm before bed. Let your body sip safety.

3. Name the Fear Beneath the Stillness

Often, we hustle because we fear who we might be without it. Ask:

• What am I afraid I’ll feel in silence?

• What belief am I reinforcing by staying busy?

Naming the pattern creates space to rewrite it.

The Identity Shift: Who Are You Without Hustle?

Rest challenges our internal narrative. If I’m not working, helping, fixing, or solving—what am I? This is where deep healing begins: when rest becomes a return, not a retreat.

To unlearn hustle is to reintroduce yourself to being instead of always doing.

You are not your productivity. You are not the sum of your checked boxes. You are not more lovable when you're depleted.

You are allowed to pause. You are allowed to choose peace over performance. You are allowed to feel good—without earning it.

Designing a Rest Practice That Feels Restorative (Not Forced)

Rest doesn’t have to mean stillness. For some, rest is a walk. A bath. A quiet creative outlet. The key is to:

• Stop performing recovery

• Start responding to what your body actually needs

Build a practice around sensation, not perfection.

Try This Mini Ritual:

• Brew a warm cup of adaptogenic tea (like tulsi or ashwagandha)

• Sit somewhere undistracted

• Place one hand on your heart, one on your belly

• Ask, “What part of me needs permission to rest?”

• Sip slowly. No multitasking. Just presence.

Repeat daily until rest becomes familiar—not frightening.

Final Word: Rest Is a Practice, Not a Privilege

Unlearning hustle isn’t lazy. It’s legacy work. Especially for women who’ve carried generations of productivity, perfectionism, and people-pleasing. Rest is how we reclaim the nervous system. And when we do, we reclaim our clarity, our joy, our longevity.

Because sometimes the most revolutionary thing a woman can do—is rest.

And mean it.